You must ultimately find the place where you can be most effective, and this will inevitably be in doing what you're best at. In other words, no one is 'good at' saving the world; one is good at music or painting or writing or politics or science--and any of these can put one in a position to make a contribution toward saving the world.
- Daniel Quinn
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Dirty Greek - Mother Nature - Pervert
  Humor : Mother Nature - Pervert
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Until the righteous waters of god washed away mother nature's sins a few days ago, my world was awash with the physical evidence of her whoremongery. Everywhere I looked, I saw the filthy, powdery effluence. It covered cars as far as the eye could see; no doubt part of the liberal car washing industry's ties to this disgusting tradition. The yellow semen of nature's sexual escapades was everywhere. This, however, is only the surface of this yearly pornography.

The sinful stuff caused the bodies of my comrades to react violently, no doubt because they were less righteous than myself. However, even my otherwise sinless body could not resist letting out a few sneezes and nose drips due to its pervasive nature. This, of course, is simply a throwback to a time of man's less virtuous days when he joined in nature's orgies at the changing of the seasons and partook in godless, pagan practices such as fertility celebrations and drug-crazed sex parties. I, for one, am glad that those days of disease-free ecstasy and fluid exchange are over. God stopped those practices short by creating sexually transmitted diseases and ESPN.

Georgia O'Keeffe - Jack-in-the-Pulpit 4

World renown sex pervert Georgia O'Keeffe used nature's disgusting practices for her own financial gain by not only pointing out the horrible similarities between flowers and the female sex organs (yet another sign of nature's sickness), but actually celebrating some of the most shameful body parts that god was unable to stop Satan from creating.

Oh, and don't think that other creatures are left out of my tirade. Just look at this abomination:

Royal Jelly Bee in satanic practice

Such practices must stop. Each spring, the Christian world is subjected to this carnival of sin, but not much longer. I am petitioning Congress, with the help of Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson, to pass laws outlawing all perversion on the part of "Mother Nature." We will prevent these events, if nothing else, for the sake of our children. How can we sleep at night knowing, one day, a curious tyke may ask us "Mommy? Daddy? Where do flowers come from," and we may have to lie to him in order to spare him the dismay of learning that something that seems so beautiful is in fact one of the dark prince's closest allies.
Posted By George on 04/15/2005 @ 08:59 AM | Link and Discuss (0) | More Humor
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My Related Posts: Diebold is in trouble // Good ol' Greeks // Abizaid Pleas to Soldiers: Don't Leave the Military // GB #14 - Independent Study This Summer // Read these great pieces by Orcinus //
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