You are NOT on the DirtyGreek.Org homepage. Please CLICK HERE to go there.
Until the righteous waters of god washed away mother nature's sins a few days ago, my world was awash with the physical evidence of her whoremongery. Everywhere I looked, I saw the filthy, powdery effluence. It covered cars as far as the eye could see; no doubt part of the liberal car washing industry's ties to this disgusting tradition. The yellow semen of nature's sexual escapades was everywhere. This, however, is only the surface of this yearly pornography.
The sinful stuff caused the bodies of my comrades to react violently, no doubt because they were less righteous than myself. However, even my otherwise sinless body could not resist letting out a few sneezes and nose drips due to its pervasive nature. This, of course, is simply a throwback to a time of man's less virtuous days when he joined in nature's orgies at the changing of the seasons and partook in godless, pagan practices such as fertility celebrations and drug-crazed sex parties. I, for one, am glad that those days of disease-free ecstasy and fluid exchange are over. God stopped those practices short by creating sexually transmitted diseases and ESPN.
World renown sex pervert Georgia O'Keeffe used nature's disgusting practices for her own financial gain by not only pointing out the horrible similarities between flowers and the female sex organs (yet another sign of nature's sickness), but actually celebrating some of the most shameful body parts that god was unable to stop Satan from creating.
Oh, and don't think that other creatures are left out of my tirade. Just look at this abomination:
Such practices must stop. Each spring, the Christian world is subjected to this carnival of sin, but not much longer. I am petitioning Congress, with the help of Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson, to pass laws outlawing all perversion on the part of "Mother Nature." We will prevent these events, if nothing else, for the sake of our children. How can we sleep at night knowing, one day, a curious tyke may ask us "Mommy? Daddy? Where do flowers come from," and we may have to lie to him in order to spare him the dismay of learning that something that seems so beautiful is in fact one of the dark prince's closest allies.
|
